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How to break generational cycles
When thinking about traits passed down through generations, we often focus on positive features like physical attributes or talents. However, negative habits and perspectives can also be inherited. The good news is that these destructive cycles don’t have to continue. Even if you’ve experienced or displayed harmful behaviors, you have the power to break the generational cycle and avoid passing them on to your children.
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What Is A Generational Cycle?
A generational cycle is a thought, perspective and/or belief that is emotionally or culturally passed down from our families. It’s the lens through which we see the world that is shaped by our parents, grandparents and can also be influenced by culture, ethnicity, and events. We pass along through words, actions and attitudes – consciously or not – what we know, or what we believe to be true, even if it’s not. Unfortunately, a generational cycle is a gift that keeps on giving, unless we can raise our self-awareness.
In so many words, clients often tell me that they don’t want to be like their parents. They don’t want to drink as much. They don’t want to constantly worry about money. They don’t want to speak to their children the way they were spoken to. Once we dig a little deeper into what they don’t like about how their parents treated them, we often find that they are in fact navigating the world in the same way, but are completely blind to it.
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"I made a decision that It stops with me" - Diana
Breaking the Generational Cycle of Impostor Syndrome
“As a mother of two, I’ve come to realize that my children unintentionally mimic behaviors I’ve carried with me for years, including impostor syndrome and perfectionism. These patterns are part of a generational cycle, passed down from my mother and grandmother, that made us feel the need to be superhuman, always striving for unattainable perfection. Recognizing this cycle in my children is both alarming and empowering, as it gives me the opportunity to change it. I know that if I continue with the same thought patterns, my children will likely struggle with the same insecurities. However, by addressing my own thoughts, moods, and behaviors, I can break the chain and guide my children to develop healthier mindsets, free from the burdens of impostor syndrome.” – Diana
The Power of Self-Awareness and Choice
“Growing up, my parents unknowingly instilled in me the idea that perfectionism equaled success. My mother’s flawless appearance and my father’s constant encouragement to strive for excellence put me on a path toward relentless perfectionism. However, once I recognized the harmful effects of this mindset in my life and my children’s, I knew I had to change. While many believe they are products of their upbringing, we have the power to break free from these cycles. By retraining my thoughts and behaviors, I can create a better future for myself and my children, ensuring that the legacy I leave behind is one of self-awareness, resilience, and growth, rather than perfectionism and fear.” – Diana
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plan of action
The link between parenting and child behavior
Children absorb behaviors like sponges, mimicking both good and bad habits they observe at home. Growing up in a tense and hostile environment increases the likelihood that they will repeat those conflicts in their future households.
A research study on the correlation between parenting and child behaviors found that children who grew up with parents who were involved and authoritative repeated their parents’ positive behaviors in their lives. Conversely, children with overly authoritarian or permissive parents expressed more negative behavior.
plan of action
Shatter
the cycle
Most people aren’t even aware they are navigating the world through the lens of their generational legacy. But this unconscious bias hurts you, and until you become conscious of it, it’s impossible to make any changes. Here are five steps you can take to stop the pattern in your family:
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1. Become self-aware of destructive patterns
Develop self-awareness by examining your thoughts and perspectives. Understanding the origins of these beliefs can help you break patterns passed down through your family.
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2. Take ownership of your belief systems
Your belief systems shape how you interpret the world and influence your actions, attitudes, and emotions. Formed over your lifetime, these beliefs continue to evolve and affect how you approach life.
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4. Forgive and move forward
achieving your goals
Forgiving doesn’t require forgetting. It’s a process that allows healing without condoning harmful behavior. By forgiving, you acknowledge the past and choose to move on.
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5. responsibility for change
Break the cycle of destructive generational patterns by taking responsibility for change.
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Become a model to the next generation
Your past doesn’t define your future, and you have the power to create a positive legacy for future generations, whether for your children or others you influence.
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Reach out for support achieving your goals
Overcoming generational cycles can be challenging, and having experienced support makes a difference. We’re here to partner with you every step of the way, helping you achieve your goals and break those cycles.